


Reunion

by yuffiehighwind



Series: An Eternity in Cheese Country [25]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Dual Identity, F/M, Gen, Milwaukee, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-01-01
Updated: 2000-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-07 10:32:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Discord and Deimos are reunited under fateful circumstances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 'fic series "An Eternity in Cheese Country," and here's why - after they were killed by Callisto and Xena, the souls of Strife, Discord, and Deimos were reincarnated in the late 20th century into three humans named Steve, Veronica, and Dave.
> 
> Originally composed in 2000; revised January 2015.
> 
> This takes place in July 1999.

Veronica entered the white waiting room like she lived there and asked, with no preamble, "Cherile, is Dennis here?"

A young woman with short, dark hair streaked purple looked up and said, in a thick Midwestern accent, "Oh, Veronica, I’m sorry. He’s not. He’s been sick, you see. The flu n’so."

Two voices - one male and one female - could be blatantly heard shouting and cursing at one another in the next room.

"I’d know that voice anywhere," Veronica said. "You lying little whore."

Dennis, Veronica's therapist, emerged from his office and said, "Veronica, what…what are you doing here?"

A crash and a furious yell sounded behind him.

"Hold on a second." Dennis shut the door.

Cherile explained, "She just…she just showed up, outta the blue."

"Who?"

"His wife."

"His  _wife?"_

Cherile nodded and Veronica, who was sleeping with him, began to curse under her breath.

"Fuck, fuck,  _fuck!"_

An enraged woman emerged from the office, stormed through the waiting room, and stormed out the exit, slamming the door. Dennis followed.

He turned to Veronica and said, looking uncomfortable, "So, Veronica, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I thought I’d surprise you," she said, shoving a covered Caesar salad in his hands. "But I see the picture now." Veronica turned to leave. Cherile snapped her gum loudly. 

"Uh, no, you don’t have to leave," Dennis said.

Veronica scowled. "Oh yes, I do."

"No, please, don’t."

"Please?" Veronica said sarcastically. "Ha!"

Dennis took a breath. Trying to be nice, he said, "Thank you for the salad. You didn’t have to go to the trouble."

Veronica smirked. "Don’t worry, I stole it."

"Stole it?"

"It’s Shatner’s."

Dennis asked, incredulously, "Shatner’s?"

"Shatner’s," Veronica said, as if repeating the actor's name explained everything. "Cherile, can you give us some privacy?"

"Privacy?" The girl looked around the office, gaze resting on the door to Dennis' office and the lack of any other door but the exit.

Veronica nodded at her fervently, and Dennis repeated, still looking confused, " _William_  Shatner’s?"

"This is  _my_  office," Cherile said. She pointed to the next room. "Go in  _there_  for privacy."

"You stole William Shatner’s salad?"

"Yeah, so?" Veronica said, annoyed. "He’s a friend of mine."

" _Friend_  of yours?"

"Cool," Cherile said, snapping her gum. "Does he really talk like the impersonators?"

"What’s so strange about me being friends with William Shatner?"

"It’s strange you have any friends at all," Dennis said.

"Why?"

"You  _stole_  his salad?"

"Yes!"

"That’s no way to get on a person’s good side."

"Why not?"

"He could have been hungry."

The door opened, and Cherile squealed with glee.

"Oh, my boyfriend’s here!"

"Fuck you," Veronica told Dennis, who replied-

"Already did, regretfully."

"Wow," said a familiar voice, "Caesar salad!"

Veronica turned around to look at him and screamed. He screamed back. 

"IT’S  _YOU!"_

"You two know each other?" said Cherile.

"Very well," the man said.

Veronica narrowed her eyes at him. "Regretfully."

"Let me guess," said Dennis. "Another 'relative?'"

Neither replied, so Cherile introduced him herself.

"This," she said, standing up to embrace him, "is  _Spike!"_

"That freak’s name isn’t Spike," Veronica scoffed, "it’s Deimos."

Cherile looked confused. "Huh?"

The man extended his hand to Dennis and said, "Dave Painterra’s the name. But everyone usually calls me Spike."

"Or shithead," Veronica muttered.

"Or sh--HEY!"

"His name is Deimos," Veronica said, for the second time.

Dennis grinned. " _The_  Deimos?"

"You've heard of me?"

Cherile giggled. "Spike here’s an artist."

Veronica rolled her eyes. "An artist, all right. What’s with the threads?" She gestured to his flamboyantly clashing jacket, pants, and jewelry.

"It’s fashionable," Dave insisted.

"To a blind harpy, maybe."

"Not that this banter isn't interesting, _"_ Dennis interjected, not sounding interested at all, "but I’ve heard quite a bit about you from Veronica, and I'm curious--"

Dave looked puzzled. "Veronica? Oh, right!" He laughed. "'Veronica.' Long time, no see, Ronni." Dave slapped her on the back, wrapped an arm around her, and squeezed. "Ronni here’s my cousin, see? We grew up together. We’re close." He pinched her ass and added, " _Real_  close."

Veronica bent his arm hard enough to break it.

"Ow, ow, owowow, OW! RONNI!"

"Don’t you  _ever_  do that  _ever_  again," Veronica said menacingly, "unless you want to lose your two best friends, and I am  _not_  referring to Cherile and Dennis over here."

Dave cringed and his hands reflexively reached to protect his crotch.

"Veronica," Cherile said, outraged, "how  _dare_  you threaten my Spiky-poo?"

"His name is not Spike!"

"Uh-uh. Spiky, baby, don’t let her push you around. She’s just a little whiney bitch."

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Cherile," Dennis snapped, "that was out of line!" He paused, then added, "Though very, very true."

"You’re ALL asking for an asskicking as far as I’m concerned!" Veronica shouted. 

"You haven’t told me why you're in Wisconsin," Dave said.

"It’s a long, long, painfulstory and I hope a bus hits you before I get a chance to tell it to you."

"Come on, poopsie," said Cherile, "we’re gonna miss our movie. You've been looking forward to seeing  _Austin Powers 2_ for weeks."

"Well, folks, gotta go. The ole ball ‘n chain, you know?" Dave laughed and gave Cherile a big kiss. Veronica cringed in disgust.

"Jealous yet?" he said. 

"Fuck you."

"Hehe, you already did," he said, then pointed at Dennis and said, "LATER, DENNY!" The couple exited. 

"Thank you for the salad, Veronica," Dennis said, for lack of anything better to say.

"It was nothing," Veronica said. After a short silence, she added, "By Nyx, I hate that boy."

"Cousin, huh? Grew up together? Real close, by the sound of it."

"Oh shut the fuck up."

"Wonderful taste in dress. That kid’ll blind a horse."

"Ech, just drop the subject. I’m leaving."

"Want the salad back?"

"No, keep it. Shatner can get a new one. Good fucking riddance." With that, Veronica exited, letting the office door slam shut. 


End file.
